Um...Brellas.

I absolutely love candy canes but this post is supposed to be about umbrellas
which sometimes have candy cane shaped handles, so I suppose that's why I would like to have a candy cane right now, instead of writing about umbrellas.

Umbrellas are very useful.

Candy canes are also useful because they freshen your breath and give you a small sugar rush and can be used in self defense. They hang perfectly on the side of a mug of hot chocolate, so you can have a peppermint hot chocolate. So fancy. Also they are just pretty. The small candy canes are preferable.

Small umbrellas are more parasols than umbrellas. Both can block the sun but the umbrella is better suited to keep the rain off of you. One time I used an umbrella to make a newspaper parasol and it's a neat prop, except I can't close it, because it's paper mâché.

Sometimes, because of the way I have to store it, the parasol pokes me in the eye. I think the eye poking, and the potential for water flying everywhere, are the reasons people say that opening an umbrella indoors is bad luck.

This isn't bad luck though, because it's a parasol and it was never closed in the first place. See, the superstition says "opening" an umbrella is bad luck. But if it's already open when you come into the house, then it's okay. Also lucky for the homeowner because they have a big front door that an umbrella baring person can fit through easily.

Opening candy canes is difficult. When I get it right, I feel like the master of candy cane opening. But get it wrong, and the candy cane becomes a crumbly mess all over the floor and I have to kick the crumbs under things so no one can see that I am not the master of candy cane opening.

The newspaper parasol is about to become a crumbly mess if it keeps poking me in the eye.

Peppermint is also a soothing flavor. Which is useful when you're mad at a parasol.

Umbrellas are actually a very selfish thing. Which is great. They never really fit two people comfortably and they give you a lot of personal space. Not unlike the poncho. People who wear ponchos are weird, and people tend to avoid them. Which is why I have three.

One time, when I was wearing a poncho, Totalie took his poncho off and threw it behind him, and the poncho hit me in the eye, and I had to see an eye doctor which was difficult because of vision loss. I ruined that pun on purpose.

What is it with things poking me in the eye!?

So anyway the lesson of that story is, Totalie was wearing a poncho, and is a weirdo so, I should have been standing further away from him.

Um...if it isn't already clear to you, the cool person reading this, I didn't prepare for my blog post this week, and I'm just sitting here looking at my mason jar full of small candy canes and trying to come up with some story involving umbrellas.