My house is in the middle of the city. That's not a figurative statement. Some people say, "My house is in the middle of nowhere." but that's all figurative because there isn't a nowhere because if there were it would be somewhere.
No, my house really is in the exact middle of the city. Which some people may consider to be amazingly exciting, but they would be wrong. After all, this city is the size of my bathroom window on the map of our state. It's not big. It's more like a sliver of glass made to give the illusion that you could possibly breath if the bathtub overflowed until you floated about the room like a fish.
We've lived in this house since I was six and my brother was three. My dog was two. Which is fourteen in dog years because you multiply the human year by seven.
I remember moving day. It was this very day. Well, this very date anyway. It was actually on a Thursday because it was three years ago plus one leap year. My mom woke me up at seven in the morning so I could pack up the little tent I had been sleeping in, but before we left, I made sure I had all of my secret belongings from under the loose floor board in my closet. It was very important, because things that are secret are very important. Things like my favorite gum, my locust shell collection, and the cats-eye marble I found on the playground. I put the box of treasures in my backpack and headed to this very house.
The ride seemed like forever. It couldn't have been forever though because I would still be driving instead of telling you this story and I wasn't driving. My dad was. I don't think I will be able to drive until I can use all of those words my dad uses without getting into trouble for it.
We arrived here and I wasn't very impressed. My room was going to be in the back of the house but now it is in the attic because there wasn't enough room for all of my Nancy Drew books. My brother lives in the back room not but I think my brother should sleep in the basement and my dog should get my old room because, after all, he is older.
At first, it was fun exploring all of the different places in the house, but that got old after a day. There's one place I have yet to explore though. There's a neat room that's supposed to be used for storage that my mom and dad said was their "private space." I've always wanted to go in and see what was in there, it's not allowed though, and I still don't understand why.
Just the other day I found a way into the room. There was a huge bug. The size of both of my hands I swear. It had long fangs and icky legs. It was trying to find food to take back to its home. I watched it for awhile even though I was supposed to be eating my oatmeal. I hate oatmeal.
The bug must've gotten what it wanted because it started to run back to its home. So I followed it. It took a lot of unnecessary trips through the couch and chairs, the bathroom, and the computer room. Finally it stopped at the entrance of the room and slid under the door. Naturally I went back downstairs to finish my icky oatmeal like the good kid I am, but I kept thinking of that bug. Why should that bug get to see the secret room and not me? I decided that it was an injustice to be fought.
I put on my super detective costume and grabbed my handy dandy notebook, and I set out for the forbidden room. I came to the door and placed my ear on it. No sounds. I tried the handle and the door was locked but I had found an item that could help me unlock this mystery! A key! A skeleton key to be exact. I found it in the attic and it opens any door.
I put the key in the lock and turned it. The door opened smoothly. It was so exciting but it was so dark. Not dark like when you sleep, but so dark you can't even see the glow in the dark strips on your sneakers.
I started to feel around for a light switch to no avail. I was quite disappointed when suddenly I had an idea. There was something I had seen on TV that I thought just might work. I stood in the doorway, on the threshold of discovering the last secret of this house. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and clapped my hands really loud two times.
I opened my eyes to the light and...
Two hands grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me out of the room before I could see anything. It was my mom. I tried to explain to her, you know, about the bug and everything, but she didn't buy it. That's why I am in my room now and not allowed out until dinner.
It's not easy being the greatest super detective in the universe.
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