Monday Remover

On a day full of light, in a busy office building, on a Monday, Trulie is at her cubical working haphazardly on what appears to be a box made from induction unit parts. With the last hammer of a screw, she pushes her chair back and exhales a long held breath. She begins to giggle softly, then launches into a very well practiced evil laugh.

Three sharp green points rise up from behind Trulie's cubical wall.  "What's so funny?"

Startled, Trulie jumps and goes to cover her invention. "Uh...Comedy. Comedy is SO funny ha ha so funny." The green points come around the cubical wall and reveal Totalie Awesome, who sits on Trulie's desk and crosses his arms. "Your evil laugh is getting better. What's that you got there?" Trulie steps aside and reveals the fruits of her half hour labor. "It's a Monday Remover."

"Uh huh. I can see why you were laughing. That's pretty ridiculous." Totalie begins to inspect it. "Really? You think it's pretty?" Trulie's face beams with pride. "I spent about five minutes on the engineering and the rest was spent making it look ridiculous." Trulie grabs Totalie's hand away from a lever duct taped to the machine. "Don't touch that!" She lets go of his hand. Totalie laughs "Why?" Trulie pulls the lever while saying "I made it. I get to pull the lever."

A flash of blinding light and then...nothing.

Totalie, still shocked something happened when the lever was pulled, checks his hair points. "That was bright. What did you use to make that thing?" "Never mind that Totalie. We have a very bad problem. Look at this calendar." Trulie picks up her calendar with mermen on it, and shoves it into Totalie's hands. He examines the dates while Trulie picks up her Daily Inspirations tear away calendar and flips through it.

"Holy Hummus. Trulie. You've made..." "I've made every day a Monday." Trulie sits down as the realization hits her. Totalie drops the calendar and starts rubbing his temples. A coworker walks past Trulie's cubical. "Hey Totalie...got a case of the Mondays?" Totalie laughs half heartedly as the coworker continues on their way to the copy room. Totalie lunges at Trulie "What are we going to do!? I can't take the Monday quips, the Monday jokes, the Monday excuses, everyday! EVERYDAY!?"

Totalie starts to mimic his coworkers. "'Happy Monday. How was your weekend. Too bad it's Monday. Well it's Monday. That's Monday for you. CASE OF THE MONDAYS..."
"TOTALIE! Calm down!" Trulie says as she grabs him by the biceps and shakes him. She stands him up and keeps shaking him.

"Please stop." Totalie says shakily. "Are you calm?" Trulie asks as she keeps shaking him. "Yes I am calm" "Okay I am going to stop shaking you and let go, and when I do...you promise not to freak out?" She eyes him as best she can as she continues to violently shake him. "Yes. I promise to not freak out." Totalie says, starting to see stars. "Okay." Trulie lets go and Totalie takes a moment to settle himself.

"So what are we going to do." Totalie asks calmly. "Dang it Totalie! You're supposed to start freaking out again.  Don't you ever watch movies?" "I prefer British sitcoms." he replies, picking up the calendar he dropped and tossing it onto Trulie's desk.

Trulie sighs. "I have no idea what we can do. I could pull the lever again, but there's a chance it will split into even more Mondays. Hmmm..." Trulie begins to pace back and forth in a very rehearsed cartoon-like manner. Totalie watches intently until he realizes she is just pacing back and forth because she has seen it in cartoons and rehearsed it to look like she was thinking. "Trulie you're not even thinking." Trulie stops. "Darn it. I guess I need to rehearse that more. Do you have any ideas?"

"Me?" Totalie laughs. "I didn't even think your little contraption would work! I don't even know HOW it works. So why would you think I would have any suggestions." Trulie just stares at him. "It has a name you know. Monday Remover." She sighs. "The only time you don't seem to have suggestions is when we need them."

She continues. "I guess this is our new normal now. Everyday is Monday. Day names don't matter, just dates! Maybe it wont be so bad. People wont be able to blame Mondays for anything and the day itself will lose it's reputation and meaning." Trulie sits down and kicks up her feet, hands behind her head, satisfied with her answer.

Totalie stands and stretches. "Interesting. Well, back to work." He exits her cubical and returns to his.

A reminder pops up on Trulie's computer. She gasps "Monday Meetings!!???" Totalie peers over the cubical wall "What's wrong? We have meetings every Monday." The realization hits him and they both look at one another before screaming in terror in unison for 30 seconds.

"That was the best time we've done that" Totalie remarks, straightening his points. "Yeah we got the pitch to match in that way that creates overtones. Good job!" Trulie pats Totalie on his points and continues. "I can't live like this Totalie! I can't! I HATE MEETINGS. Especially MONDAY MEETINGS. I can't I can't!!! I'm sorry. I have to do this!!"

Before Totalie can respond, she pushes the lever. Another flash of light and then...nothing.

Trulie grabs her merman calendar, "YES!" she grabs her Daily Inspirations calendar "YES!!!" She laugh cries as she sinks back down into her seat. "You did it Trulie!" Totalie comes back into Trulie's cubical. "How did you do it?" He asks, examining the machine again.

"I pushed instead of pulled." Trulie responds. Regaining her composure. "It worked. It's all over." Another reminder pops up on Trulie's computer. "Crap! We're late for the meeting!!!" Trulie grabs Totalie's arm and rushes out of the cubical, dragging him behind her, and leaving the Monday Remover behind without a thought.

A shadow passes over the cubical, hovering over the Monday Remover. An unknown hand reaches out and careful picks it up, and then disappears.

The rest of the day seemed cursed somehow. The meeting ran over by thirty minutes. Someone burned popcorn in the microwave at lunch time. Toner was spilled on the carpet. The wifi went out for ten minutes...it was a very bad day. But of course... it was a Monday...